I am the person who never sits still. I am constantly overextending myself, working late into the night waking up not only looking like a hot mess but feeling like a hot mess. One of my biggest problems is feeling like I have to have everything done right now. Then there is my constant need to feel productive by being busy. I know someone reading this understands the struggle. I mean even my idea of a rest day includes writing content and recording a new podcast episode. It was not until June of 2021 did the weight finally hit me. After being in a car accident a few months earlier I did the one thing I knew how to do best, stay busy. So in classic Mikita I can handle anything style I took on a new supervisor role at work, in the midst of adapting to my new role I started recording new episodes for my podcast. If that was not enough I scheduled the recordings every evening after for for then next 3 months. Them I signed up for a vendor space for Juneteenth, Oh no I did not stop there I was also asked to be a guest speaker all while finishing my certification. Did I mention that I have two daughters and a husband. Why do we find ourselves constantly adding more to our already busy life. Why is it so hard to hit pause and slow the fuck down and just sit in our emotions for a minute.
The one thing that I did not mention was that after the car accident it left me feeling powerless, voiceless, and broken. I knew that my constant need to be busy was my why of not having to deal with all those emotions. How does the saying go “all good things come to an end” Yep just like the universe said I gave your ass a chance to get it together but since you hard headed let me give you a wake up call. (ring, ring) I got to work one morning and I could feel the anxiety building up my heart felt like it was beating 200 bpm. In that moment I felt all the stress I had been carrying crushing me. The car accident, all the worry, stress, lost, and grief had finally hit me full on and no amount of being busy was going to stop this from happening. I could feel the tears start as I ran to the bathroom to get myself together. For the first time in a very long time I cried big ugly tears. I allowed myself to feel afraid, to feel the loss, to just feel. It was in that moment that I hit pause then I hit the reset button. I gave myself permission heal without judgement.
Why do we as women feel like we have to be so damn strong all the time as if we are really made of Teflon. Not only do have this never let them see you cry mentality we also have this I can do it by myself and anything less is a sign of weakness attitude. Well I no longer subscribe to that I am the first one to speak up for emotional awareness, mental breaks as well as spiritual connection to self. How can you protect yourself while hitting pause. You can hit reset as many times as you need there is no one and done. Check these easy tips:
Don’t hide from your emotions, use your support system they love you they want to be their for you.
Talk to a professional, don’t let the stigma of stop you from taking control of your life.
Get clear about your non negotiables ex No work on Saturday or No work after a certain time
Take one day a week make it extra special that is your day buy yourself flowers take a bubble bath drink a glass of wine get a new pair of sexy PJ’s that make you feel great.
Show yourself some compassion.
Give yourself permission to not be so strong all the time.
Remember you can hit pause, reset or both at the same time. You have the power!